The Power of Strangers: The Benefits of Connecting in a Suspicious World
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- Create Date：2022-07-11 18:16:35
- Update Date：2025-09-23
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- Author：Joe Keohane
- ISBN：0241986427
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Summary
When was the last time you spoke to a stranger？
In our cities， we barely acknowledge one another on public transport， even as rates of loneliness skyrocket。 Online， we carefully curate who we interact with。 In our politics， we are increasingly consumed by a fear of people we've never met。 But what if strangers， long believed to be the cause of many of our problems， were actually the solution？
In The Power of Strangers， Joe Keohane discovers the surprising benefits that come from talking to strangers， examining how even passing interactions can enhance empathy， happiness and cognitive development， ease loneliness and isolation， and root us in the world， deepening our sense of belonging。 Warm， witty， erudite and profound， this deeply researched book will make you reconsider how you perceive and approach strangers， showing you how talking to strangers isn't just not a way to live， it's a way to survive。
In our cities， we barely acknowledge one another on public transport， even as rates of loneliness skyrocket。 Online， we carefully curate who we interact with。 In our politics， we are increasingly consumed by a fear of people we've never met。 But what if strangers， long believed to be the cause of many of our problems， were actually the solution？
In The Power of Strangers， Joe Keohane discovers the surprising benefits that come from talking to strangers， examining how even passing interactions can enhance empathy， happiness and cognitive development， ease loneliness and isolation， and root us in the world， deepening our sense of belonging。 Warm， witty， erudite and profound， this deeply researched book will make you reconsider how you perceive and approach strangers， showing you how talking to strangers isn't just not a way to live， it's a way to survive。
Reviews
Trey H
，
Ever read a book that should have been a blog post？ This book felt like it was created because the author wanted to write a book about a singular idea: Talking to strangers will make you happier。 The problem is that you don’t need a full book to convey that idea well。 A lot of filler that didn’t add to the central premise， but added pages and allowed for selling a book。
Mohammad ALKAYSI
，
The Author makes an good point for the value of talking to strangers。 He discusses the many ways that we can benefit from stepping outside our lives and into the lives of those who seem to be different。However the content is super repetitive， There are lots of un-refrencced poorly citied historical and research references， mostly to fill pages。
Paul
，
The science （what little there is in it） is cherry picked and rest of it is on the level of anecdote at best and garbage science at worst， the arguments for an otherwise sensible attitude mind-numbingly repetitive， lacks any nuance - as you'd expect from a self-help book。Talk to strangers？ Sure！ Just don't read this book。 The science （what little there is in it） is cherry picked and rest of it is on the level of anecdote at best and garbage science at worst， the arguments for an otherwise sensible attitude mind-numbingly repetitive， lacks any nuance - as you'd expect from a self-help book。Talk to strangers？ Sure！ Just don't read this book。 。。。more
Tracy Brower
，
I really enjoyed this。 Well researched and an important topic。
Shawn
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This has some interesting research and stories about the benefits of initiating conversations with the people around us， particularly when we don't know them at all。 I've seen my dad do this over the years， and while I used to be somewhat embarrassed by it when I was younger， I have come to see the value of doing it。 This book served to reinforce that change of thinking and to motivate me to go outside my comfort zone， to break social norms， and to make more of an effort to interact with strange This has some interesting research and stories about the benefits of initiating conversations with the people around us， particularly when we don't know them at all。 I've seen my dad do this over the years， and while I used to be somewhat embarrassed by it when I was younger， I have come to see the value of doing it。 This book served to reinforce that change of thinking and to motivate me to go outside my comfort zone， to break social norms， and to make more of an effort to interact with strangers， so it was useful to read。 。。。more
Scales
，
The book is broken up into three parts。 The first is sorta an anthropology explanation of why we bother with strangers。 The next is about why we don't talk to strangers in the modern world。 Finally， the last part is all the actionable steps for how to talk to strangers。 If any of these sections sound interesting， then its worth the price of admission。I approached this book assuming It would be like any other conversation skill book。 It took a much more holistic approach then any other comms book The book is broken up into three parts。 The first is sorta an anthropology explanation of why we bother with strangers。 The next is about why we don't talk to strangers in the modern world。 Finally， the last part is all the actionable steps for how to talk to strangers。 If any of these sections sound interesting， then its worth the price of admission。I approached this book assuming It would be like any other conversation skill book。 It took a much more holistic approach then any other comms book， and thats what I liked about it。 For 300 pgs， the books was jam packed。 As I said， the last third of the book is the part with "actionable steps，" but even then the books puts timely questions into your mind such as how and why to talk about US politics in 2022。 Not sure if this book will age well， but it certainly brought up topics that helped an urban 20-somthing reintegrate into a post pandemic world。 。。。more
Alicia
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Chapters on the science behind social practices really brought down my level of interest。 The chapters discussing social movements was interesting and they spoke to a current issue we see worldwide。 And For the love of god， when quoting people， cut out the word “like”。
Arran Turner
，
In The Power of Strangers， Boston writer Joe Keohane investigates the perils of having all our material needs silently and frictionlessly delivered by anonymous strangers， who may as well be ghosts。 How far will things slide before we realise our social skills are eroding？ Keohane takes us through the rich history humans have of embracing and welcoming the people we don’t know， also painting a bleak picture of the modern pandemic of loneliness and isolation。 However， his debut novel is above all In The Power of Strangers， Boston writer Joe Keohane investigates the perils of having all our material needs silently and frictionlessly delivered by anonymous strangers， who may as well be ghosts。 How far will things slide before we realise our social skills are eroding？ Keohane takes us through the rich history humans have of embracing and welcoming the people we don’t know， also painting a bleak picture of the modern pandemic of loneliness and isolation。 However， his debut novel is above all infused with infectious optimism， tales of inspiring initiatives and plenty of verve。 What happens when we start talking to strangers？ What benefits do we reap when we humanise the easily-ignored cashiers and fellow commuters？ What happens is a quiet， steady revolution and the realisation that we are one， which could， if we are lucky， save us all。 。。。more
Jeremy Wright
，
A couple good ideas :）
Vibhor Sahay
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Timely book。As a person who hates small talk， I will take away a few lessons on what to do during my next encounter with a stranger。 Would have liked more practical lessons on how to initiate a conversation though
Jack
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This books presents many interesting arguments for talking to strangers and follows up with some easily-actionable methodology for doing so。 But， at times it is unfocused and verbose。 It is worth reading for an introvert who is looking to improve their skills with approaching strangers
DiAnne Warfield
，
Holt-Delhi Nonfiction Book Discussion group title March 2022
Olwen
，
I enjoyed the warm and gentle humor through this informative book。
Anna-Klara Aronsson
，
Ok jag försökte läsa denna boken noggrant från pärm till pärm under två veckor det gick så där。 Så jag kan inte sammanfatta dennrättvist。 Summan är med massa exempel på forskning och anekdoter med som jag ser det utifrån ett väldigt urbant anerikanskt perspektiv: människor mår bra av att prata med varandra ytligt eller djupt och ha ett artigt socialt kitt som smörjer umgänget。 Usa blir mer och mer polariserat för att folk slutat och särskilt folk som är på "olika sidor" i tex politik slutat att Ok jag försökte läsa denna boken noggrant från pärm till pärm under två veckor det gick så där。 Så jag kan inte sammanfatta dennrättvist。 Summan är med massa exempel på forskning och anekdoter med som jag ser det utifrån ett väldigt urbant anerikanskt perspektiv: människor mår bra av att prata med varandra ytligt eller djupt och ha ett artigt socialt kitt som smörjer umgänget。 Usa blir mer och mer polariserat för att folk slutat och särskilt folk som är på "olika sidor" i tex politik slutat att föra öppna samtal med varandra som i prata/lyssna。 Förf verkar hävda att samhällen， kunturer och individer mår bättre av att prata。 Han ger olika mestadels anerikanska exempel på detta。 Lite populistiskt och lite så jag blir frågande till vissa påståenden men också sånt jag håller ned on。 Som att tex politiker inte verkar prata eller rns debattera MED varandra utan bara liksom pratar itan att lyssna eller bemöta andras argument。 En av de sakerna jag undrar om jag fattat förf rätt är någon del av boken där han tar upp land kontra stad och att det är ensligare på landet。 Minns inte var i boken och jag fattar nog fel。 Jag har alktid uppfattat det som tvärtom， där det är få människor är man pratsammare？Tänkte jag skulle följa några av förf råd。 Men det har inte gått så bra。。。 typ att prata med 10 random främlingar， och tillämpa lyssna 70 prata mindre。。。 inte gått så bra för just mig。 。。。more
Ahlam Mustafa
，
A life-changing book。 I am not saying it will transform you from a stranger fearing introvert to a people hugger！ But it will definitely change the way you see the complexity of human experience when dealing with 'difference'， 'change'， and the 'other。 It gets repetitive at times， and you can skim those parts， but the psychological and anthropological insight it provides is valuable。 The way it makes you reflect on your own attitudes and views towards others is profound。 I have found myself more A life-changing book。 I am not saying it will transform you from a stranger fearing introvert to a people hugger！ But it will definitely change the way you see the complexity of human experience when dealing with 'difference'， 'change'， and the 'other。 It gets repetitive at times， and you can skim those parts， but the psychological and anthropological insight it provides is valuable。 The way it makes you reflect on your own attitudes and views towards others is profound。 I have found myself more aware of the interactions I make and how I make them。 I feel more present and deliberate when talking to other people instead of being robotic and repetitive。 On a more intellectual level， it introduces a complicated and long history of evolution in human interaction and the development of human ethics。 I think this is a must-read and a very timely text。 。。。more
scorpion
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not to be annoying but if capitalism didn't exist we would all trust each other more not to be annoying but if capitalism didn't exist we would all trust each other more 。。。more
Danny Johnson
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"These are strange times， but they are not unprecedented。 As we have seen， again and again， human beings have responded to existential threats and societal collapse by creating new ways to cooperate with strangers and new modes of belonging within a changing world。 The capacities of the hyper-cooperative ape have been scaled exponentially， from the rise of sociality among hunter-gatherers to the dawn of cities and major religions， and further: to the invention of democracy， the dawn of the Enlig "These are strange times， but they are not unprecedented。 As we have seen， again and again， human beings have responded to existential threats and societal collapse by creating new ways to cooperate with strangers and new modes of belonging within a changing world。 The capacities of the hyper-cooperative ape have been scaled exponentially， from the rise of sociality among hunter-gatherers to the dawn of cities and major religions， and further: to the invention of democracy， the dawn of the Enlightenment， and civil rights， and human rights。 We have seen a vast expansion in our capacity to attribute humanity to strangers。 " 。。。more
Michele
，
Interesting ideas， well researched。 My favorite part was in the chapters where he actually gives tips on how to talk to strangers。 There was many chapters and stories about historical facts about anthropology， sociology， history… all to make the point that people are designed to be sociable and to interact with strangers， but they are sometimes afraid。 Interesting but not that many hours worth of interesting。 A condensed version down to about two chapters on tips and how to talk to strangers wou Interesting ideas， well researched。 My favorite part was in the chapters where he actually gives tips on how to talk to strangers。 There was many chapters and stories about historical facts about anthropology， sociology， history… all to make the point that people are designed to be sociable and to interact with strangers， but they are sometimes afraid。 Interesting but not that many hours worth of interesting。 A condensed version down to about two chapters on tips and how to talk to strangers would be amazing！ 。。。more
Jürgen Seibold
，
Joe Keohane legt mit “Strangers“ eine interessante Abhandlung vor， die sich vordergründig mit einem einfachen Thema beschäftigt - gleichzeitig ist sich sicher fast jeder über die Schwierigkeit der Kontaktaufnahme mit „Fremden“ bewusst。 Mit „Fremden“ sind hier in diesem Werk nicht Ausländer gemeint， sondern einfach eine uns unbekannte Person - somit gänzlich unabhängig von Hautfarben， Herkunftsländern， Status， etc。 Hierdurch bekommt das Buch eine gewisse Stärke， da es über Grenzen hinweg hilft un Joe Keohane legt mit “Strangers“ eine interessante Abhandlung vor， die sich vordergründig mit einem einfachen Thema beschäftigt - gleichzeitig ist sich sicher fast jeder über die Schwierigkeit der Kontaktaufnahme mit „Fremden“ bewusst。 Mit „Fremden“ sind hier in diesem Werk nicht Ausländer gemeint， sondern einfach eine uns unbekannte Person - somit gänzlich unabhängig von Hautfarben， Herkunftsländern， Status， etc。 Hierdurch bekommt das Buch eine gewisse Stärke， da es über Grenzen hinweg hilft und kein Lernwerk für angehende Rassisten darstellt。 Einfach mit nicht bekannten Menschen reden？ Es klingt so einfach und kann dennoch so schwer sein。 Bereits beim normalen Grüßen fremder Menschen bekommt man oft genug verwirrend wirkende Gesichter zu sehen。 Ab und an erhascht man jedoch ein zaghaften „Hallo“ oder „Grüß Gott“， gepaart mit einem Lächeln。 Allein dafür lohnt es sich schon mal - dennoch gibt es den Gegenpart an Menschen， bei denen man während einer Kontaktaufnahme bereits das Gefühl bekommt， die Person klappt schon vorsorglich das Messer in der Hosentasche auf。 Aus diesem Grund halte ich viele angesprochenen Vorgänge in „Strangers“ für mindestens schwierig oder mutig in ihrer Umsetzung。 Der Erfolg scheint aber für den Autoren zu sprechen und ich denke， bereits einige wenige Schritte in diese Richtung mit einer gewissen Abschätzung des Gegenübers können sehr interessante Gespräche zur Folge haben。 Joe Keohane zeigt jedoch nicht nur Möglichkeiten der Kontaktaufnahme， sondern geht auch oft auf eine philosophische Ebene， die sehr interessant dargeboten wird。 „Strangers“ ist gut lesbar und hinterlässt zumindest einige spannende Ansätze。 Darüber hinaus regt es zum Nachdenken an und lässt einen selbst ein klein wenig über verloren gegangene Kommunikation philosophieren。 So weit ich mich erinnere， grüßten meine Großeltern grundsätzlich jeden， der ihnen entgegen kam。 Allein an dieser Kleinigkeit könnte man bereits arbeiten und die Welt wäre ein klein wenig schöner。 Einige Aspekte halte ich für etwas abwegig - dennoch werden sie vom Autor gut dargelegt und scheinen zu funktionieren。 Alles in allem ein recht interessantes Buch mit spannenden Impulsen， die das „Fremde“ abbauen möchten und können， falls man ein klein wenig die genannte Richtung einschlägt。 Darüber hinaus besitzt das „Fremde“ nicht wirklich viel Gefahr - man muss nur offen sein und Vorurteile beiseite schieben。 hysterika。de / JMSeibold / 06。12。2021 。。。more
Mary Grace
，
I entered the bookstore over the summer with a gift card and no particular goal in mind。 I walked out with this book， hoping that I had made a worthwhile decision。 And now I have a new favorite book。The Power of Strangers is everything I could dream of in a popular sociology book。 Keohane is conversational， organized， conscientious， and empathetic。 The chapters are short enough to feel like easy reading， and the anecdotes included are insightful and purposeful （brownie points for the Braver Ange I entered the bookstore over the summer with a gift card and no particular goal in mind。 I walked out with this book， hoping that I had made a worthwhile decision。 And now I have a new favorite book。The Power of Strangers is everything I could dream of in a popular sociology book。 Keohane is conversational， organized， conscientious， and empathetic。 The chapters are short enough to feel like easy reading， and the anecdotes included are insightful and purposeful （brownie points for the Braver Angels cameo）。 Each time finished a chapter， I felt refreshed and inspired。 And when I started each next chapter， the author artfully reminded the reader where we had been and where we were going。 Keohane argues that talking with strangers is necessary for survival but also beneficial to our flourishing。 And though we tend to shy away from strangers， our assumptions that things will go badly are usually wrong—usually， interacting with people leaves both feeling more connected。 I look forward to returning to this book with a pen and a highlighter and soaking up more of it the second time round。 My （few， minor） qualms: -the asterisks were too small to be functional （:-I would have appreciated a notes section with citations for all of the research and other quoted authors。 -Since this book was published in July 2021， I would have appreciated a clearer explanation of when the book was written specifically in reference to COVID-19。 Like， the author called it an "epidemic" and seemed more or less nonchalant， which signals that his final manuscript was finished in early-mid 2020 perhaps， and that was very unsatisfying。 I would love to see a second edition with a chapter focused on strangers in a pandemic。 。。。more
Ginger Johnson
，
This book will change your life - if you read it and want to improve your life。 Yes， it's that powerful。 Joe's gotten right into the meat of what human connection is all about， how the truly-killer phrase of stranger danger has tragically in habited our thinking to avoid others。 And this would be the LAST we we all should approach life。 He adeptly researches， shares his findings and many eye-opening and entertaining stories of his research in the writing。 This book will be with me forever - in m This book will change your life - if you read it and want to improve your life。 Yes， it's that powerful。 Joe's gotten right into the meat of what human connection is all about， how the truly-killer phrase of stranger danger has tragically in habited our thinking to avoid others。 And this would be the LAST we we all should approach life。 He adeptly researches， shares his findings and many eye-opening and entertaining stories of his research in the writing。 This book will be with me forever - in my mind and library， in my work and I'll be telling everyone who'll listen that it's a necessary book to heal and bring us together again， as we're meant to be as a species。 Get this book。 。。。more
Steven Ridgely
，
So true。 Great book。
Burt
，
My local Barnes and Noble had a copy of Joe Keohane’s The Power of Strangers。 I skimmed a few pages and liked what I saw， so I checked a copy out from my local library。 （I got a nice， new copy - I guess I was the first one to check it out）。 After reading the book， I’m still puzzling over what to think about it。The Power of Strangers has some strong points。 Keohane makes an excellent case for the value of talking to strangers。 He discusses the many ways that we can benefit from stepping outside o My local Barnes and Noble had a copy of Joe Keohane’s The Power of Strangers。 I skimmed a few pages and liked what I saw， so I checked a copy out from my local library。 （I got a nice， new copy - I guess I was the first one to check it out）。 After reading the book， I’m still puzzling over what to think about it。The Power of Strangers has some strong points。 Keohane makes an excellent case for the value of talking to strangers。 He discusses the many ways that we can benefit from stepping outside our lives and into the lives of those who seem to be different。 He also gives the reader some advice about how one can go about talking to strangers。 （Although his advice is much shorter on specifics than one would guess， given the book’s title）。For me， the book’s drawbacks are at least as weighty as its virtues。 The biggest problem is that Keohane cannot focus。 On the one hand， the publisher positions the book as a self-help discussion of building good conversations。 But this material comprises a small part of what’s here。 Keohane spends more time roaming far and wide， discussing （among other topics）: apes， the Bible， and his life in New York City。 The text runs to 301 pages。 A good editor would have streamlined it to about 225 pages。Keohane injects too many of political opinions。 He should have gotten out of the way and respected the reader’s ability to draw conclusions。 Suffice to say， Keohane’s politics and passions are those of the contemporary left。 For example， he recounts meeting New York City’s hard-left mayor Bill de Blasio in his favorite coffee shop and instructing de Blasio to “Give ‘em hell out there today” （p。 228）。 If you share Keohane’s views， you’ll probably enjoy his take。 And if you don’t。。。For me， The Power of Strangers falls under the heading of “Glad I read it， but can’t give it a strong recommendation。” Joe Keohane provides some nice food for thought， but his lack of focus and unsubtle political commentary dilute the book’s impact。 。。。more
Slick Daslickest
，
Great very informative。 People need people。 Stranger danger is mental poison。 “What is a stranger except for a friend you have yet to meet。”
Tony Fitzpatrick
，
This was a book with two key themes。 The first was a simple "if we all talked to each other a bit more， the world would be a better place， and here are some ways you can do it"。 The second was more anthropological and philosophical and concerned concepts such as how societies， religions and cultures evolve， and the implications of many of the more recent phenomenon such as stranger danger education， and Trump inspired racial and political hatred in the US。 A lot of this stuff made good sense and This was a book with two key themes。 The first was a simple "if we all talked to each other a bit more， the world would be a better place， and here are some ways you can do it"。 The second was more anthropological and philosophical and concerned concepts such as how societies， religions and cultures evolve， and the implications of many of the more recent phenomenon such as stranger danger education， and Trump inspired racial and political hatred in the US。 A lot of this stuff made good sense and was interesting， but a fair bit seemed to be padding - trying to make up the page count。 Various theories about the implications of Covid related lockdowns also made their way into the book's 333 pages。 I didn't come away with any fantastic new insights or ideas （which was encouraging in a way）， other than a greater appreciation that loneliness was more endemic and a bigger problem that we realised， and we all have a role to play in addressing it。 。。。more
Tim Miles
，
Very good book。 Lots of history and explanations of how strangers have played an important role in building our civilization。 I was expecting more techniques for conversations， but what was supplied definitely helps in future conversations。
Anders Nielsen
，
I had expected more practical tools， where there definitely are some。 But big part of book is about cultural differences and all the reasons why we don't talk to strangers - or why we do。 Good humor in the book， some really good tools I had expected more practical tools， where there definitely are some。 But big part of book is about cultural differences and all the reasons why we don't talk to strangers - or why we do。 Good humor in the book， some really good tools 。。。more
JaNel
，
Didn’t finishCh。 2 “Minimal social interactions… Never underestimate the power of even the most minute positive connections。… Smiling， making eye contact to establish a connection， and even having a brief conversation to have a stronger sense of belonging and improve mood，”
Mike
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I heard about this book while listening to an interview with the author， Joe Keohane， on NPR。 He documented an experience similar to mine - talking to a stranger in NYC; my experience was in Dallas with a homeless man。 Fascinating study of what it can mean to talk to strangers。
Mara
，